“你越幽默，TA就越上头。”

01、古代的女子会吟诗，现代的女子会作对。

Ancient women could recite poetry, while modern women can resist.

02、气质美女三要素：胸小、话少、表情吊。

The three elements of a beautiful woman's temperament: small chest, few words, and expressive expression.

03、你猜我爱抽烟还是爱喝酒，格局小了，我爱抽你。

Can you guess if I like smoking or drinking? With a smaller perspective, I love smoking you.

04、你摸摸我的衣服，看是不是做你老公/老婆的料子。

Touch my clothes and see if they are made of fabric for your husband/wife. 

05、我都给你台阶下了，你居然坐电梯！

I've already stepped down for you, but you actually took the elevator!

06、命运的齿轮转到我的时候，终于开始掉链子了。

When the gears of fate turned to me, the chain finally began to fall off. 

07、你若成功了，放屁都有道理；你若失败了，再有道理都是放屁。

If you succeed, farting makes sense; If you fail, no matter how reasonable it is, it's just farting. 

08、你为什么会痛苦，明明你的人生那么搞笑了。

Why do you suffer? Your life is so funny.